Living the dream....

This afternoon I was walking around camp with Itchy and Link.  We have loads of campers this week in several tent units and lodges so our afternoon check of units involved quite a wander around.  After checking Cedar Crest we sat for a bit on the bridge, looking at the creek (which has gotten pretty low since we haven’t had much rain) and watching the fish.  Then we wandered up the trail to Ittmann, over the swinging bridge.  Its certainly a beautiful day at camp with the sun shining and blue skies.  It definitely helps me appreciate it more to hear the girls running around laughing at the pool and joking around at arts and crafts.  Another pretty perfect afternoon at camp.

Sometimes I forget that I really do love camp and then I take a wander around, away from my office and desk and remember how amazing camp can be… and what great memories these girls are making and how they will grow from this time in the woods.  Its exciting to be a part of.  Maybe one day some of them will be a bit like me… not quite grown up, not quite young… sitting in between, amazed at life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about hiking lately, for a variety of reasons, but mostly because I usually am thinking about it, by default.  It has been a year today since I decided to leave my job at Sulphur Grove.  That’s a little crazy. My favorite hiking partner has headed off to the mountains for a big hike, I’m a bit jealous.  The nights have been cool and clear and I have been longing to sleep in a tent under the stars.  My allergies have been going crazy and I have gotten tired of sitting in a moldy office.  I love camp.  LOVE… but sometimes I just can’t help but long for the trail and the simplicity of a different type of life in the woods.

Today on my wander through camp I thought a lot about long distance hiking… anytime my feet find themselves on a dirt path through the woods I think at least for a bit about the beauty I find in the woods.  I am hoping to take a big hike in the fall, when the leaves are changing and the air is cool.  It is weird that I LIVE at camp, yet long for the woods.

A year after I stepped off onto an unknown path, leaving the life that I was “supposed” to have to seek the things I love… am I closer to finding peace?  Yep.  My bank account is always a bit low, my hair is rarely brushed, my car doesn’t get driven much, and my heart is usually longing for the woods… but truly this year I have found peace.

I know now, more than ever, exactly where I am headed… I know what I want and more importantly I know where to find my center.  A year of hiking, lattes, groceries, desert walking, and camp has taught me that when my world spins crazily out of control there are people that will make sure I don’t fall down… and there are places I can go to set myself right again.

Is this life, this path perfect?  Nope.  Will I always long for the woods?  Perhaps.  Will I wander forever?  Maybe… But I've realized that the peace I need is in simply knowing and believing the journey is a beautiful one.  Beautiful.

Thanks for being part of my journey.

You can call me...

Some days I think that no matter what you yell in my direction I will turn around, because I get so confused about what my name is.  If I hear you, I'll likely answer to anything.  At 4 am the other night I even answered to Itchy on the walkie talkie.  Confusing.

During and right after college I worked for Camp Whip Poor Will, a great camp near Cincinnati.  There I went by the name Larakin or Larry (mostly Larry).  We had nicknames, some counselors from New Zealand decided mine should be Larry because they call crazy people in NZ Larakin apparently.  As Larry I am a bit crazy.  I've been at WPW forever and know how things work.  Heck, I even had keys to the camp for a long while.  As Larry I hang out in the woods with kids and play millions of rounds of toilet tag and sing ridiculous songs.  As Larry I rarely sleep but have been known to flip golf carts and eat 12 corn dogs in one setting.

When I was teaching I was Miss Schneider.  So many little voices have called me Miss Schneider (and sometimes in Brazil it was Tia).  As Miss Schneider I taught kids to read and write.  I taught them to make cookies and be kind to each other.  I taught dozens and dozens of kids to love school and love life.  As Miss Schneider I was known to be firm and strict, but fair.  I definitely ran a tight classroom and expected a lot out of my students.  As Miss Schneider I was the teacher in flip flops and khakis who laughed and baked brownies.

When I was working at SGUMC I was Carly, sometimes Miss Carly.  Bunches of teens and children called me Carly and I was always a listening ear.  As Carly I was the church cook and craft lady.  I was always planning a new adventure.  As Carly I was continuously pushing kids to expand their horizons and taking others along for the crazy ride.  As Carly I was the jeans and a hoodie wearing, barefoot, mouthy, crazy haired youth leader who no one quite knew what to do with.

When I was hiking I was Ohio.  I was the slow walking, sweaty, stinky hiker girl who at lots of snickers and ramen and just kept showing up when people thought I would quit.  I was the girl who "accidentally" thru hiked and met amazing people who changed my perspective.  I was the girl who used bright duck tape and found the best "bling" ever in Vermont and carried it to Maine, who grew mold in her hair over the summer and obsessed about finding conditioner at every town stop.  As Ohio I laughed a lot, ate a lot, and had lots of blisters.

Now I am Radar.  Working at Camp Stonybrook means another summer of nicknames and starting a new camp led to a new name.  No more Larry... now I'm Radar.  As Radar I am the Walmart run girl, the terrible singer, the Assistant Camp Director who can wake up to the quietest walkie talkie beep at 3 am and laughs so hard I cry multiple times a day.  As Radar I obsess over the weather and love to drink coffee and laugh with little kids early in the morning.

So, I'll answer to anything and right now I think its a very telling place to be.  As I spend the summer at camp I have kind of slacked off on seeking a full time job... I have plans to thru hike another trail this fall, not a super long one, but an amazing one... I feel like there are so many things, so many names, so many amazing people and places who are a part of who I am and who I am becoming.  As I invest in the lives of my staff and campers this summer I want to open up their minds to the possibility that they can do amazing things, no matter who they are, what they are called, or what others think.

So maybe you could call me Dreamer, Hippie, Free Spirit... call me what you want, I'll answer, just don't call me stuck... cause I have big dreams and every intention of making them happen.

I love my Larry, Miss Schneider, Carly, Ohio, Radar life and all that each of those "identities" has made me.

Its camp....

This spider spent the first week of staff training living on the wall outside the camp office... gross.

Camp is random.

I reply to a lot of comments and such these days with the sentence... "Eh, its camp."

For example... I smell.  I haven't showered.

"Eh, its camp."

Its weird sometimes to be back living at camp... hanging out with tons of people, eating too much, sleeping too little, and singing ridiculous songs... and laughing until I cry multiple times a  day.

Camp Stonybrook is a lot like my beloved Whip Poor Will (unsurprising since they are like 20 minutes apart)... but really different too.  For example, here at Stonybrook we dress up for meals... and I don't mean in dresses.  We dress up in costumes that are both ridiculous and hilarious... for absolutely no reason.  It makes me laugh every day.

I have always loved camp and learning to be in a new camp is interesting... I will say that its learning curve... life is good... even though it is often random and a bit ridiculous.  Even though it, I didn't expect it, it is a blessing to be here and to be learning an awful lot along the way.

Randomly.... This turtle lives outside my office... It makes me laugh.  It sits for hours and then starts running super fast for the woods.  I think we call him Ollie... or something.

Completely randomly, when I was out shopping for camp supplies I came across these candy bars.

WHOA!  I am not usually a fan of girl scout cookies but in honor of the 100th year of girl scouting they have made these candy bars... and they are GOOD.  (At least the one I tried is... I'll keep you posted.)

Another summer in the woods...

Current location: Camp Stonybrook

Yesterday I moved into the little cabin I'll share with the rest of the administrative staff at Camp Stonybrook, near Waynesville, OH. Crazy.

It's weird to me that 2 weeks ago I had NO plans to spend this summer at camp, a month ago i had no plans to even be in Ohio, and now I find myself here... Getting ready to spend a summer with kids, staff, and leaders doing all the typical camp stuff... And its a completely different world than I imagined I'd be living in.

It'll be different... I still miss that other summer... The one that I had planned of hiking and chillin out west (and the one that had me hiking big mountains last year). But it'll be good too. I'm trying to take the days as they come and I remember a bit more every day how very much I love camp and how important it was to me becoming who I am.

So I find myself here... Sitting in my slightly smelly camp office, looking at a pile of papers that I need to go through, trying to figure out all I need to do to supervise a staff I've never met, and thinking about the ice cream the cook left for us in the kitchen... And it's not at all where I thought I would be. Yet I'm learning to dwell in the now, to dream of the future, and to smile and laugh a whole lot every day.

'Cause life is beautiful... Even when it surprises you!!