living thankful

In some crazy, weird, mixed up universe 

it has been a year since I took this picture...

I was standing near Springer Mountain, heading north, all alone... with no intentions of thru hiking, no plans to walk for months, just a desire in my heart to take a few weeks and do a little walking in the woods before I returned to my crazy life in Ohio. 

This week a guy sent this picture to Patrick and he shared it with me.  It was taken a couple of weeks ago north of Superior, AZ.  Because those little steps on an unknown journey off of Springer Mountain a year ago took me 2000 miles up the east coast and then 365 miles through the Arizona backcountry.  Because some days my life makes little sense, but I am learning and seeking to be thankful every day.

It has been a tough couple of weeks, mixed in with a beautiful journey through northern Arizona and the Grand Canyon... a trip where in my solitude I had a lot of time to think about things, to contemplate the future, to reassure myself that risks are worth it and journeys can change you even when they don't end up like you think they will.  It's time for change... and change scares me sometimes... but I am SO thankful and so ready.  It's a great big world, full of endless possibility and I am ready to see what is next.

In honor of this crazy year... this year that has been full of surprises and beauty, disappointment and hard times, joy and laughter... In honor of this ridiculous year I thought I'd tell you some things I LOVE.  

(You're welcome!)

I love...

-mountains.  Big ones... and even though I am SLOW, I love climbing them.

-simple joys of living in the wilderness... eat, walk, eat, walk, eat, sit, sleep, repeat.

-campfires with friends, far from city lights.

-town days and the first song on the radio after days of singing to myself.

-silence.  Stopping mid stride in the middle of nowhere, seeing nothing made by man and hearing no one else.  Beautiful silence.

-walking and walking for hours alone, to turn a corner and find someone waiting on a rock in the shade, snack time!

-snuggling up in the tent with the rain fly off and watching the stars.

-gas station donuts, the perfect gift

-friends.  Friends for the journey and friends who wait patiently at home and welcome me back.

-dreaming... of the future, of trails to hike and places to see. Beautiful dreams.

-the convenience of town life.

-looking at my car and thinking, its not that far, maybe I'll just walk

-a good rain coat and a warm sleeping bag

-flip flops

-coffee... hot, cold, in the woods or in the city, shared with friends.

-solitude, prayer time, life that isn't so distracted by modern convenience.

-many many many more things... but the reality is this, so many of the things I have discovered that I love in the last year are things that apply to life even in the "real world".  Truth is that learning to slow down, to live intentionally, to embrace opportunity and to breathe deeply every day... I can do that even when I'm a city girl.  

Life is beautiful.  I am thankful.  I am blessed.

In the belly of the Grand Canyon

If you decide to walk to the bottom of the Grand Canyon when the North Rim is still closed, everyone will mostly be on the Bright Angel or South Kaibab trails. They won't head north much out of Phantom (the campground/cabin area by the river). But, if you still head north another 7 miles you walk up through the 'Box', where the canyon is narrow and beautiful. If you keep going you will get to Ribbon Falls AND if you are really lucky you have passed the few other people headed that way to climb up behind the waterfall all alone.... And you get to have this all to yourself.

Cause life is beautiful, even when it's unexpected.

Frustration

Current location: Superior, AZ
Accumulated miles: 295

The last 7 days I have been hiking in the Sonoran Desert and into Tonto National Forest. Holy cow is it pretty out here!!

We've had some pretty cool days walking through desert fields full of cactus (and cow poop!) and along steep canyon walls. We slept one night in a "forest" of saguaro cactus (those huge ones), and on top of amazing mountains. The picture is from our campsite on Easter Night. Truly beautiful.

But this week hasn't been all beauty and bliss. There are dozens of miles between water sources (and not all are fit to use when you finally find them) so my pack was heavy with 7 days of food and 3 1/2 liters of water. The days have been extremely hot, with temps in the mid to upper 90s... And the walking isn't always easy and fun (7 days without a shower ain't pretty either!!).

This week (the weekend especially) the heat really got to me and we even had to sit for a few HOURS on Sunday in hopes of cooling down. I know this frustrates Patrick as much (and probably a lot more) than it does me. It's hard. I pride myself on being a "roll with it" girl, with being tougher than a lot of girls, on being able to handle anything. Yet on Saturday and Sunday I had my pride handed to me in a big way. I am frustrated with myself and feeling weak.

I know I am stronger than that... And I KNOW I can handle it... I just need to get used to walking in the heat. It will come... And hopefully both of us have enough patience to wait... Because I know this is where I want to be... Even if it didn't seem that way while I was pitifully sitting under the tent mid afternoon!

So, that's my week... INSANELY beautiful and frustrating... And humbling and hard. Hey, I guess this hiking thing is supposed to be a challenge... Here's hoping I'm up to it... Cause this girl BELONGS in the wilderness

Thinking weird thoughts...

Current Location: Oracle, AZ
Accumulated Miles: 200!

Well, we rolled into Oracle on Monday afternoon in the COLD wind, after a night near 9000 ft (near Summerhaven and Mt. Lemmon), where my water froze in the bottles! Not solid mind you, but enough that there was still ice 14 miles later when we walked into town.

Have you ever seen those old motels beside the highway, with the individual a-frame cabins/rooms? They always look a little creepy but at the same time you wonder what it would be like to stay there? Fun.... That's what it's like... But I live in a tiny tent in the woods, so I have pretty low standards!!

Thinking weird thoughts? Yup... People often ask me what i think about when i am alone with 'me' for hours on end...When you hike 200 miles through Arizona the trail isn't really full if people. In fact I saw about 15 people on Sunday when I was lost headed to Summerhaven and that's more than the # of people I had seen on the trail hiking cumulative! Crazy. But when one is alone waking, sometimes you think about strange things. SO... Here's what I think about while I hike...

I start my day thinking about the miles to come... Water and food for the day. I follow that with some prayer time, sending love and prayers for all my friends and family. Then I think some more about food and water and when I will find a good rock for a break. Then I just think about random things like family or memories from Brazil or church, or my friends and customers at Kroger and the 'bux. After lunch? Hmmmm...

I think a lot about the future, who I want to be, where I want to channel my energy, what I will do and where I want to be. I also think about random things like what my dog is doing or if I might go back to school.

Being along with yourself and your thoughts for such a long time could be pretty overwhelming... But it's actually really good. Sometimes I get to the end of the day and realize I haven't thought about anything at all!

While I look for meaning and listen for what God is teaching me in these quiet times, I also am learning to simply enjoy the silence... To let all the craziness drop from my mind an embrace the peace that comes in the quiet places. I am blessed.

I am a hiker...

Current location: Tucson (again)
Accumulated miles: 115ish

Sometimes it's weird to me that I am a long distance hiker. I am seriously the laziest, slowest, least athletic person I know. I struggle to get out of my sleeping bag EVERY morning. I walk REALLY REALLY slowly uphill (and often down). I complain about my pack weight, foot pain, and sweating.

But I am a hiker.

This week as I have started a new trek of possibly great distance I have thought a lot about why I am a hiker...
There are many things that make a distance hiker...

I can go days without bathing and drink pretty much any water regardless of the floaters. I walk really far with foot pain and just keep walking no matter the heat, snow, wind, or rain. I can eat ramen or couscous for days on end and mass consume food in town. I'm good at those things... But that's not all that makes me a hiker.

I really truly love the peace and simplicity of living in the wilderness. I love the quiet and the time to think and pray. I love to see big mountains and knowing I can climb them. I love being able to sit with someone in silence and know that no words need to be spoken to understand the beauty of the day.

There are lots of reasons I love being a hiker... But mostly I love that in the wilderness I am living who I really am. I know not everyone understands.. But in this place I find peace, simplicity, and happiness.

I am blessed.

Tomorrow, on to Colossal Caves and Saguaro National Park. Many more beautiful miles to hike!

Something... Anything...

I feel I should have something epic to say... 4 days into this new adventure. I feel like I should have some amazing thoughts... But I don't. Weird.

It's not that this trip isn't big and epic, it just may be. There are big mountains, border patrol, snow storms, getting lost, and strategic planning of water sources... But this trip is different in more than just that. I often find myself comparing it to the last one in my mind, but it is much too different and not just in location.

So, I'll try to find something epic to say for this epic journey... But for now, there are mountains to climb... And I'm a girl who NEVER passes up the chance to climb mountains!

Here is my view the other morning as we walked our way towards town. Life is beautiful!

... Taking chances...

I am Arizona Trail bound! Yay! While this has been something talked about and planned on for a long time, I only really decided I was going over the weekend. Maybe a little bit because I thought it may not happen if I got too excited, maybe because I didn't really think it would all come together... Probably mostly because amidst all my work hours I just really didn't have time to plan... And ultimately because I live in a really 'fly by the seat of my pants' manor which means I never really am good at making plans!

So I find myself in Tucson, heading into the mountains, ready to be free and simple for a while. Not sure how long... But for now.

It's risky... There are lots of unknowns... And what will happen is anyone's guess. Last week though I realized that as much fun as I have working at the 'bux (the same is NOT true of Kroger) and as blessed as I was to so quickly find two jobs that give lots of hours and managers that are really flexible and tolerant... I don't want this forever... And as I look towards the next chapter of my life there are amazing adventures to take, great people to meet, and big risks to take... And I'm ready to take them. I'm ready to move forward.

It seems kinda sneaky, going to Arizona for a bit. I didn't tell many people and didn't plan much, I'm not really sure how long i'll be gone. I'm sure there are people who are angry and disappointed in me, people who don't understand. I wish I could tell them that I really wasn't hiding things or trying to upset them, but I'm just living these days and taking advantage of all that is before me.

So... I'm off to Arizona for a bit, I love you all. I'll write some ridiculous things here, I'll hope to see you soon... And I hope you'll forgive me for being completely ridiculous!