Some days I think that no matter what you yell in my direction I will turn around, because I get so confused about what my name is. If I hear you, I'll likely answer to anything. At 4 am the other night I even answered to Itchy on the walkie talkie. Confusing.
During and right after college I worked for Camp Whip Poor Will, a great camp near Cincinnati. There I went by the name Larakin or Larry (mostly Larry). We had nicknames, some counselors from New Zealand decided mine should be Larry because they call crazy people in NZ Larakin apparently. As Larry I am a bit crazy. I've been at WPW forever and know how things work. Heck, I even had keys to the camp for a long while. As Larry I hang out in the woods with kids and play millions of rounds of toilet tag and sing ridiculous songs. As Larry I rarely sleep but have been known to flip golf carts and eat 12 corn dogs in one setting.
When I was teaching I was Miss Schneider. So many little voices have called me Miss Schneider (and sometimes in Brazil it was Tia). As Miss Schneider I taught kids to read and write. I taught them to make cookies and be kind to each other. I taught dozens and dozens of kids to love school and love life. As Miss Schneider I was known to be firm and strict, but fair. I definitely ran a tight classroom and expected a lot out of my students. As Miss Schneider I was the teacher in flip flops and khakis who laughed and baked brownies.
When I was working at SGUMC I was Carly, sometimes Miss Carly. Bunches of teens and children called me Carly and I was always a listening ear. As Carly I was the church cook and craft lady. I was always planning a new adventure. As Carly I was continuously pushing kids to expand their horizons and taking others along for the crazy ride. As Carly I was the jeans and a hoodie wearing, barefoot, mouthy, crazy haired youth leader who no one quite knew what to do with.
When I was hiking I was Ohio. I was the slow walking, sweaty, stinky hiker girl who at lots of snickers and ramen and just kept showing up when people thought I would quit. I was the girl who "accidentally" thru hiked and met amazing people who changed my perspective. I was the girl who used bright duck tape and found the best "bling" ever in Vermont and carried it to Maine, who grew mold in her hair over the summer and obsessed about finding conditioner at every town stop. As Ohio I laughed a lot, ate a lot, and had lots of blisters.
Now I am Radar. Working at Camp Stonybrook means another summer of nicknames and starting a new camp led to a new name. No more Larry... now I'm Radar. As Radar I am the Walmart run girl, the terrible singer, the Assistant Camp Director who can wake up to the quietest walkie talkie beep at 3 am and laughs so hard I cry multiple times a day. As Radar I obsess over the weather and love to drink coffee and laugh with little kids early in the morning.
So, I'll answer to anything and right now I think its a very telling place to be. As I spend the summer at camp I have kind of slacked off on seeking a full time job... I have plans to thru hike another trail this fall, not a super long one, but an amazing one... I feel like there are so many things, so many names, so many amazing people and places who are a part of who I am and who I am becoming. As I invest in the lives of my staff and campers this summer I want to open up their minds to the possibility that they can do amazing things, no matter who they are, what they are called, or what others think.
So maybe you could call me Dreamer, Hippie, Free Spirit... call me what you want, I'll answer, just don't call me stuck... cause I have big dreams and every intention of making them happen.
I love my Larry, Miss Schneider, Carly, Ohio, Radar life and all that each of those "identities" has made me.
i call you friend. me likes that one the most! xoxo
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