Loving Well...

I don't know about you, but one of the things I struggle with is saying goodbye.  Not when I know I will see the person in the next day or two or even in the next week or month... I struggle with saying goodbye in open ended ways.  I hate the end of trips and happenings when I am unsure when or if I will see people again.  I'm just really bad at goodbye.  I'm really awkward and I usually just hide from it.  Sometimes I will refuse to talk about impending departure up until the last minute, pretending its not coming and I am not going to have to walk away.  Then, when the goodbye actually comes, I am often the first to high-five and walk away before anyone might catch me off guard.  If I do end up with a quick hug... well, tears sometimes follow.. and I hate crying even more than I hate goodbye.

Lame?  Perhaps. 

I just don't do it well... and honestly, saying goodbye isn't something I want to practice getting better at... so I don't do it!  However, I know it is important to say goodbye in ways that honor the relationship and friendships that I have.  I want to do that.  I just struggle with it.

Today I was in Louisville with my brother and his family when I found out that an old friend had passed away.  He's been sick for a while and I haven't seen him in a long time.  However, Weadock was someone I loved and looked forward to seeing at camp each August.  The very first time I spoke at camp he told me "Carly, that was ok.  Not great, but it was ok.  However, it was honest, and that's what you need to be if you are going to 'preach', you gotta be honest.  Oh, and you should be a stand up comedian."  I still smile when I think of that conversation. In that moment Weadock told me exactly what I needed to hear.  He told me that I wasn't the "pastor" that the rest of the clergy are, but that what I bring to the table is important too.  He told me that he believed in me and what I have to say.  I love that and I cherish that comment every time I speak.   Weadock and I were really different.  We didn't always see eye to eye, but we disagreed over laughter and smiles.  He always told me exactly what he thought and reminded me that I should always tell the truth, even if people didn't want to hear it.  I loved Weadock and I will miss him in big, big ways.

Weadock's passing got me thinking about saying goodbye... and loving well.  I have long told people that part of loving well is letting people know how you feel about them, reminding them they are loved, and not leaving things unsaid.  Even though I STINK at saying goodbye, I don't think there are many people who would doubt how I feel about them.  If we love others well we don't let goodbyes happen while things are left unsaid. We encourage people, are honest with them, and don't let them wonder.

Have I always loved well?  No.  Is it something I am striving for?  Yep.

Have I done a good job of making sure others know I love them?  I hope so!

I want to live love.  I want to love well.  I want to tell people how much I value them and not leave things to chance.  I want people to see that I love them, their uniqueness, and their presence in my life.  I am so very thankful for friends, and I want to be sure that they know it.

Weadock was a blessing to me.  He will be missed.