Living Thankful

Oh Vermont... these trees live in Vermont... lucky trees!

I've been super stressed lately.

It ain't pretty and I ain't proud.

But it's true.

Stressed.

The job is going ok (although I am still adjusting to getting up at 4 am... baby steps).

I'm planning to start another new job early next week (fingers crossed).

There are things going on in my life that stress me out though.

Things that feel overwhelming and hard.

I'm the most unemotional person I know... 

but I have cried 3 times in the last 2 days.

Seriously.

What's wrong with me?!

Driving home this evening I came to the realization that things are not going to be easy any time soon.  In this season of my life... when I desperately wish I was still living in the woods (except for that whole central heat thing I got goin on in my house!).... this is where I find myself... overwhelmed and exhausted but thankful for each decision and step I took that brought me here.

Truthfully?  The time I spent in the woods this year changed some things about me.  As much as I am very much the same person, I am also very different.  Reality is that I have come to accept that I define happiness and success differently than a lot of people do. I may be struggling, but I am still in the place of saying I am headed for good things and places. One thing that hasn't changed though is my trust that God will provide.  I have always believed that.  I have always lived with the believe that it is all in His hands.  So today I am choosing to embrace that truth.  As December starts and Advent is here (one of my favorite times of year)... I will remember that God will provide, just as He always has.  

Does that mean no more stress or worry?  No.  

Likely it doesn't even mean no more tears!

However... I will make a decision today, and each day, to be thankful for what I have and know that God will provide all that I need.