Don't watch the videos...

Today I was super lazy... and by super lazy I mean I didn't work at either of my jobs.  Weird but true.

SO, this evening after a day full of church, hanging out with my mother, watching 9 year old basketball games, and trying really, really hard to not either cry or scream (that's where I'm at today, just being honest)... I sat down on my bed before dinner and something bad happened...

I decided to watch some other people's videos of their AT thru hikes.

Don't watch the videos.

Seriously.

This week, as I have wished and fought with myself about how to make another hiking adventure happen, as I have struggled with the desire to just walk away, like I did last time... as I have wished to sleep in a tent and snuggle down into my sleeping bag...

I shouldn't have watched the videos.

I miss the woods.  WAY WAY WAY more than is reasonable.

I truly believe that I lived my hike to the fullest.  I believe that I had a good attitude and even on the tough days I learned amazing lessons and embraced beauty... I don't know that I could have done much differently to really embrace the experience...

Yet I miss the woods and long to be there.  Watching the videos makes my heart not just long for, but ache for the woods.

Don't watch the videos.