It is pouring, pouring, pouring down rain this morning... and I am EXHAUSTED from my weekend at Chrysalis. Sometimes Tuesday mornings feel like Mondays... ho hum!
So depressing that is... Mondays can be rough, especially after amazing weekends like I had at Greene Street UMC. Mondays usually come with the dread of another long week ahead... much coffee to be made, many groceries to scan. Monday is hard.
Today I don't want to feel that though... today I want to be excited for a new week... especially after spending so much time this weekend thinking about what I really want, where I really want to be, and what direction I really want to take. I won't be a barista forever (that I know of), but its not that bad right now. I like the people I work with and laugh a lot. Being a cashier is a LOT less fun, but that too is for now, hopefully not forever.
My feet itch to walk long paths through the wilderness... my heart desires to be with my trail friends, old and new... my soul longs for the peace of being a hiker. But truth... truth is that I knew when I walked off the top of every mountain along the way that I couldn't be a hiker forever. I WILL have to have a job, make money, pay the bills... I would LOVE for that to not be true, but it is. I can be a hiker forever, but not every day of it. When I first came home from Virginia in October I thought my longing for the wilderness would fade as life happened around me and I moved on. Although I wouldn't say I think about it ALL the time anymore, it is certainly something that I think about way, way more than I imagined I would.
This weekend, on Girls Flight #53, I sat with the most amazing 4 teen girls at the Table of Transformers, Butterflies in Disguise (don't ask), and my youth table leader. Five amazing and beautiful girls who laughed a lot, thought a lot, shared a lot, and (mostly) embraced their experience. We talked a lot about love, passion, living lives that are important... making a difference. Looking at them I remember all those years ago when I sat in the same spot and thought similar thoughts and dreamed similar dreams. My life is amazing. I love it so very much. This weekend I resolved that even when Tuesdays feel like Mondays and all I really want is to crawl back into bed and sleep for a year, when my heart longs for the mountains, and my soul longs for peace... I will remember how amazing my life is, how far I have journeyed... and as Kinsey said... "God's not done with me yet".
**PS. If you know anyone who wants to pay me to hike, I'm open to that too!! Hahahaha... no, seriously.
Well . . . I can't pay you to hike but I'd totally sponsor your next trip!!!!
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