You have to do things normal people don't understand, because those are the only good things."
-Andy Warhol
I MAY think too much.
I MAY be a bit dramatic.
Lately I have had a good bit of time to think. Mostly because a certain lovely little red headed niece of mine threw my ipod in the washing machine leaving me with nothing to listen to when I go running... lucky me. But I digress...
I have been thinking about regret. Weird, I know! None the less its something I think about. I have often told people that I have a "no regrets" policy. I try really hard to live my life without regret. That doesn't mean the same thing to everyone, it doesn't imply the same choices... but to me its quite simple. When I get to the end of my days, when I look back over this crazy life of mine I want to be able to say I don't have regrets.
Does that mean I never make mistakes? No.
Does that mean I never wish I had chosen a different path or choice? Not at all.
Does that mean perfection and joy every day? Nope.
What does it mean then? That is what I have been thinking about lately. I have to say that a year or even 9 months ago I had no clue that I would spend my days making lattes and scanning groceries. I had no idea I would have made the choices I have made over the last 9 months. I had no clue this is where the path was leading. Yet here I am. Am I living with regret? Not even a little.
The truth is that life is full of choices. Every day is full of simple and big choices, choices about how we will live, what we will say, how we will react, and what paths we will take. Some are easy and fairly inconsequential. Some are more complicated and their impact is further reaching. Every day we choose... and we live with the choices we make. Some we wish we could take back, others we swear we would make over and over again.
I've made choices lots of people don't understand. Choices about college and grad school, jobs and careers, spending money and saving it. Those choices have led me to amazing adventures and travels all over the world. They have led me to friendships with amazing people in many different lands, people from all walks of life who inspire, mold, and change me. Those choices don't always make sense to people. People don't understand why grown women quit their successful and fulfilling careers to wander around in the woods or forgo buying a home in order to be free to travel wherever she feels led.
People don't get me. I know that. I'm odd. It's cool.
Yet, often as I have counseled and talked to teens I tell them the same thing over and over... Something like this: You are young. You should live big and have amazing experiences. I was young once too. I had a LOT of fun... you will make good and bad choices... embrace life and living. Meet and be friends with people who are both reasonable and ridiculous. Share life, surprise people, surprise yourself. Take risks. Go on adventures. Study hard. Learn everything you can. Just remember, one day you won't be so young... when you look back at this big arc of your life, make sure you can say you have no regrets. Every choice you make, every path you take... it all makes you who you are. Make choices you can be proud of. Build memories that you can share with others. Love people you are proud to know. Change the world. Don't have regret.
So often when I was out hiking people would say... You're walking to Maine? Are you crazy? I would just smile and nod a bit and say that most likely, yes I was in fact a bit crazy. Then a lot of them would say, with some longing... I wish I had done that when I was young... taken the chance and tried.
SO, that's where I'm at. That's what I have been thinking about on my little (slow) runs... taking risk, living without regret. I could look right at you and tell you what I want... where I want to be headed, what adventures are next and who I want to take them with... but more than anything, I want to know that I have no regret.
I want to live some crazy, ridiculous dreams. Live big. Yes, please.
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