Learning to live in the balance

(At Grayson Highlands with the wild ponies... this picture makes me laugh...

and it is the perfect example of my tendency to be a little bit dramatic...)

Sometimes... SOMETIMES... I am a little over the top.  I MAY be a bit dramatic sometimes. 

When I laugh I often laugh until I can't breathe.  When I go for a walk in the woods, sometimes it ends up being 7 weeks before I come home.  If I get a little antsy for adventure, it has led me to buy international plane tickets.  When I want something chocolate, it would never disappoint me to eat a whole pan of brownies (I've never done that, but I think I would!).   

More seriously, when I do things I tend to want them to be perfect.

When I work I easily become a consumed by it.

When I get annoyed I slip over the edge to angry really easily.

When things bother me a little I easily let them become a big deal.

That's not healthy!  Some of it is my personality, I tend to be drawn to the big and dramatic.

But some of it is just an unhealthy habit or tendency that I have acquired over the years.

Here's something I have been learning during my sabbatical journey... I want to live in the balance.  Things like long hikes and searching for adventure and over the top laughter?  I don't mind those things at all and I don't think they're going anywhere.  Yet, my tendencies to get overwhelmed, angry, and frustrated?  I'd like to have more balance in my life in those areas.

When I was getting ready to leave for my hike (which was about 3 days of preparations, I admit!) I was so overwhelmed, even in my sabbatical mindset, and searching so much for balance.  My decision to hike felt a bit like running away and in some ways hiking took me to the other extreme.  What did I have to worry about?  How many snickers bars to eat today?  Where was the next water source?  How many miles to the shelter?  I mean, I had so few worries.

The reality is I would like to live my life a bit more in the balance.  I am who I am and some things about me aren't going anywhere.  Yet I can't (and don't want to) continue to live in that overwhelmed, weary, stressed out place.  I want to be able to keep things in perspective and be realistic.

How?  How do I do that? 

When I was hiking I realized something really important... I had these little strips of paper that were elevation maps.  I could see where the shelters and towns were and how tall the mountains were between me and them.  My friend would tell me things like "Today is divided in thirds, first third is easy, second third is going to be BAD, and the last third is just rolling hills" (he had a different perspective on rolling hills than I do, but whatevs!).  So, between those two things I knew what was coming.  I couldn't change it or make the mountains lower.  I couldn't go around the big things in my way or change how far I had to go, but I knew what was coming and could adjust my attitude for each piece of the journey.

I think a big part of learning to live in balance is to keep perspective of what is coming and where I am.  Some people say "This too shall pass".  That works for them, but what I want to say is "With God, I can do this too."  I don't want life to just "pass", I want to live and embrace it.  Some of my hardest and most important lessons learned are on those big mountains... and some of the greatest benefits come from climbing them, not avoiding them.

I want to live in balance.

(Laurel Fork Falls, Tennessee- Right before my big, dramatic fall down the hill... hahahahahaha)